One of my part-time jobs in college was as a waiter in high-end restaurant at harness racing track in Anderson, Indiana. I knew next to nothing about horse racing when I started, but after a few weekends working the harness races, I truly began to appreciate the sport beyond just horses running around a track as a bunch of drunks gambled their children’s college funds away.
That summer, I remember placing my first bet on the Kentucky Derby on a beautiful gray horse out of California, Free House, who paid $5.80 for Show. A month later I hit a boxed exacta with Silver Charm on top that paid $11.20. The endorphin rush of hitting a $10 bet on Free House was exhilarating. It wasn’t a great deal of money, but to a poor college kid, it was quite the kicker. Plus, I’m a sucker for gray horses.
About a decade later when I moved to Louisville, (And yes, I say the correct way, Luhlvul), I fell in love with horse racing all over again. I have a warm spot for Derby Day, and there’s just nothing quite like race day at Churchill Downs. The hats, the sounds, the infield(!), even those disgusting mint juleps, (seriously, they’re not meant for human consumption); all of it is just simply intoxicating.
So when it was announced that the Derby would be postponed this year as all good things are in the pandemic, I felt a pang of regret. One reason was that the event was pushed to — egads, September? It just didn’t sound right.
But then came the news that instead of the time honored Run for the Roses, there would be a virtual derby, yes, a 3D simulation; Baudrillard would be so proud. And while I enjoy the simulacra and computer generated worlds as much as the next guy, yeah, I didn’t get tickets to that sad depressing excuse for a salve of No-Derby Blues. The Virtual Derby promised a dozen Triple Crown winners duking it out for win, place, show, and yes, there were odds.
There’s just something about watching the representation of a real world event presented as if it were truly competitive or, you know, real, that I just can’t quite swallow, but this is where the pandemic has led us. How long before FOXSports starts carrying live game sessions of Madden football games once relegated to Twitch and Mixer on their Sunday afternoon broadcasts? Does anyone really want to hear Joe Buck call that game?
Alas, this is where we’re at. So desperate are we for the Kentucky Derby, that we’ll actually watch a digital version of Secretariat and Affirmed run around a pixelated track of bits of code and programming. Secretariat won the race in case you were wondering. This feels like a weird harbinger of things to come.
In that case, I can’t wait for the puck to drop this fall in the NHL2K broadcasts on NBC.